Things I Have Thought Since Last We Met

  1. I hate it when people use my pens. Or get them out of order in their package. So rude. It messes up my coloring scheme(s).
  2. I wonder if it balances out karmically if I offer to get my husband more water right after I’ve telepathically told him I hate him?
  3. I’m going to wear my Captain America panties under my work dress because it’s like a secret rebellion against the dress code. (In my head, at least.)
  4. I still want to get laughing purple fish tattooed over and under my fingers just to see if anyone gets that it’s a line from Cream’s ‘Tales of Brave Ulysses’.
  5. How long have I been sitting in this parking lot? Would it be weirder just to leave now, or should I actually turn the car off and go inside?
  6. I wonder if it counts as work if I spend, oh, say an hour or so, finding and saving holiday and task appropriate emoticons to use on my progress reports for work?
  7. A lot of the time I wish my husband would talk to me more, but then he starts talking and I wish he would go back to being quiet so I could just look at him and love him without wanting to punch him in the face. (He makes absolutely no sense, sometimes, ask Irene. We’d make a great sitcom, in some of our best moments.)
  8. They need to legalize marijuana so we can eat thc gummy bears at work when our co-workers are full of The Awkward.
  9. David Bowie and Lemmy both died and I have responsibilities so I can’t just shoot whiskey and blare their music in homage. The struggle is real.
  10. We gave my daughter a carnival birthday party for her 4th birthday this year. I think we set the bar too high. What were we thinking?
  11. I miss listening to music while I’m falling asleep. 😦
  12. I jabber like a maniac on speed when I get around other adults who will talk to me (because I live with a 4 year old, 9 mos old and husband who aren’t really into deep conversations) and then I feel crazy so I shutup and stop talking and kind of stare the rest of the time. I don’t think this helps matters. I wonder what kind of first impression that makes? At least I normally catch myself before I start rocking back and forth on my feet and holding my own hands really tightly.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Sorry can't hear you | Exasperation | Pinterest

Please note, anything I deemed TMI was left off this list. There was, perhaps, more than you may have suspected.

These adult coloring books really work; within a few minutes of coloring I’m ready to lay down. The benadryl may also help, but I’m pretty sure the coloring has a lot to do with it.

I don’t know why I’m up and writing stupid things at 1am. It seemed like a good idea in the shower.

 

  • S.L
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3 thoughts on “Things I Have Thought Since Last We Met

  1. I am sorry for using your pens. And you did set the bar too high for birthday parties. Not just for your own child. Louise’s birthday is next month and she talked to me about her plans FOR AN HOUR last night. An hour, Sheila. She wouldn’t stop until I put her in her room and walked away. My head was spinning so hard I went to bed thinking of what a horrible mother I would be if I’m not able to make this happen.

    – I.W.

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