- I hate it when people use my pens. Or get them out of order in their package. So rude. It messes up my coloring scheme(s).
- I wonder if it balances out karmically if I offer to get my husband more water right after I’ve telepathically told him I hate him?
- I’m going to wear my Captain America panties under my work dress because it’s like a secret rebellion against the dress code. (In my head, at least.)
- I still want to get laughing purple fish tattooed over and under my fingers just to see if anyone gets that it’s a line from Cream’s ‘Tales of Brave Ulysses’.
- How long have I been sitting in this parking lot? Would it be weirder just to leave now, or should I actually turn the car off and go inside?
- I wonder if it counts as work if I spend, oh, say an hour or so, finding and saving holiday and task appropriate emoticons to use on my progress reports for work?
- A lot of the time I wish my husband would talk to me more, but then he starts talking and I wish he would go back to being quiet so I could just look at him and love him without wanting to punch him in the face. (He makes absolutely no sense, sometimes, ask Irene. We’d make a great sitcom, in some of our best moments.)
- They need to legalize marijuana so we can eat thc gummy bears at work when our co-workers are full of The Awkward.
- David Bowie and Lemmy both died and I have responsibilities so I can’t just shoot whiskey and blare their music in homage. The struggle is real.
- We gave my daughter a carnival birthday party for her 4th birthday this year. I think we set the bar too high. What were we thinking?
- I miss listening to music while I’m falling asleep. 😦
- I jabber like a maniac on speed when I get around other adults who will talk to me (because I live with a 4 year old, 9 mos old and husband who aren’t really into deep conversations) and then I feel crazy so I shutup and stop talking and kind of stare the rest of the time. I don’t think this helps matters. I wonder what kind of first impression that makes? At least I normally catch myself before I start rocking back and forth on my feet and holding my own hands really tightly.
Please note, anything I deemed TMI was left off this list. There was, perhaps, more than you may have suspected.
These adult coloring books really work; within a few minutes of coloring I’m ready to lay down. The benadryl may also help, but I’m pretty sure the coloring has a lot to do with it.
I don’t know why I’m up and writing stupid things at 1am. It seemed like a good idea in the shower.