Of all the recurring nightmares I have, which is really only two, one of them will always drag on for what seems like hours. If I am lucky enough to wake myself up from it, I am usually unlucky enough to fall back asleep and pick up right where Sleepy Brain left off. This is the nightmare that my husband Bruce does not love me anymore and has decided to return to his former lover, also my former friend. His ex. My ex. HARRIET.
I dreamed last night that we had only been married for 6 days before he suddenly decided that he loved Harriet and would go back to her. Every time I looked at him he would be writing in a journal, and when I got a chance, I would grab the journal and flip through the pages to find words of love to this other woman. January 21st: Those beautiful eyes! One of the pages read in orange marker. Bruce would get angry and grab the journal back, indignantly tell me to fuck off, and then I would cry and beg for our marriage. And he would tell me no, that he wasn’t happy anymore, that he would be with the one he truly loved.
It is gut wrenching. I wake up angry and sad, and try to make up for the feelings by holding Bruce and telling him I love him. I went through a lot to get Bruce back in my waking life. I’m not going to let Dream Bitch Harriet do the same.
Pardon my fucking language. I woke up from this cruel dream an hour ago, and I’m still feeling it. My Bruce would never do that to me.
Yours in heartache,