Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone’s got to take care of all your details. – Andy Warhol

I don’t necessarily believe that dying is the most embarrassing thing, but one of my biggest fears is dying in an embarrassing or stupid manner. Mainly because, I am constantly noticing how the most circumspect things could result in accidental death.

Here are some examples:

  1. I’m taping up a box to store in the attic. The tape breaks and the dispenser jerks suddenly forward, slicing through the artery in my left wrist. – I’m not necessarily sure that this would lead to death through blood loss, but, how terrible would the news article be that read “Woman Dies from Tape Dispenser Wound”?
  2. I’m walking down the front steps when I trip and fall just right to hit my head in the exact spot that kills me immediately. Also, it’s raining. So, my dead body is just laying there looking ridiculous, in the rain. 😦
  3. Somebody hits my car, causing me to flip or run into a pole, or I get crushed between 2 cars, and I end up dying or in critical condition from the injuries. I will be either carrying freshly bought groceries, or just picked up dinner, or some gift for one of my family members that I’m really excited to give them, when this incident happens. Then, not only am I dead/injured, but I’ve basically wasted money on whatever I just purchased, also, there could possibly be no milk for the morning after this event (though I suppose family/friends would be helping out with meal plans), and, worst of all, I wouldn’t be able to joyously give the gift.That would suck. Especially if the gift was broken/torn during the accident.

Normally, I’m able to minimize the effect these thoughts have on me, and nip them in the bud, whenever possible. Every now and then, though, especially when we’ve been sun-less, for quite a few days, I end up curled up in bed, napping, so I can finally shut my brain up.

It’s like that t.v. series ‘Dead Like Me’, where she dies because she gets hit by a piece of the toilet from a returning spacecraft. What an embarrassing way to die. I don’t want to go out like that.

In the meanwhile, my co-worker let me borrow seasons 1-7 of ‘Big Bang Theory’ and I’ve got a couple more episodes to watch before bed. ‘Tah!

  • S.L.

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